‘I Saw the TV Glow’ is a horror drama that follows Owen (Justice Smith) navigating his life as an adolescent and meeting Maddy (Brigette Lundy-Paine). The two connect as they watch a mysterious television show ‘The Pink Opaque’, creating a bond and medium through which to convey their feelings.
Opening on Owen as a 7th grader, he meets Maddy, two years his senior at school. The two talk about ‘The Pink Opaque’ a show Owen has seen ads for but has never been allowed to watch as it airs past his bedtime. Seeing it for the first time at Maddy’s house on a sleepover, the two are mesmerized by the dark and mysterious stories, intrigued by the emotions conveyed and find the show speaks to them as young adults.
Two years later, Maddy leaves Owen video tapes of the show to watch at home. After devouring the series, he musters the courage to invite himself over for another sleepover. After the show, Maddy reveals to him that she plans to run away from home. Disillusioned, Owen finds out the next day that Maddy has disappeared without a trace and that ‘The Pink Opaque’ has been canceled.
Years wear on, Owen’s mother has passed due to cancer, and he lives with his distant and unavailable father Frank. Late one night working as a cinema attendant, Owen meets Maddy as she returns to town. The two reconnect and she reveals to him that the show they watched as children wasn’t just a show. Telling Owen that she had traveled from town to town, feeling the same sense of isolation and estrangement she did at home, she had herself buried. The experience allowed her to return to ‘The Pink Opaque’ and she asks Owen to join her there.
Terrified by the thought, Owen runs from Maddy never to see her again. Years later, Frank suffers a fatal stroke and Owen decides to stay in his family home. Now in his 40s, Owen works a menial job at a fun center. With his health in decline as he is unable to afford medication for his inhaler, Owen suffers a breakdown at work. Locking himself in the bathroom, he imagines cutting himself open with a box cutter, revealing distorted images of ‘The Pink Opaque’ streaming from his chest cavity. Disillusioned, Owen returns to work, apologizing, with no one acknowledging him.
‘I Saw the TV Glow’ spends the majority of its runtime with Owen. Finding it difficult to create lasting relationships, the sense of isolation is ever present with the character. Losing his mother to cancer, Owen is left with his father. Without a single line of dialogue spoken by Frank, an alien and estranged sentiment accompanies the young man whenever we find him at home.
Alone most of the time, what provides respite from the dysphoria is ‘The Pink Opaque’. Sharing a love for the obscure and mysterious, Owen finds kinship with Maddy as the two enjoy and find meaning in the television series. Finding the show to express their feelings better than they could, the two appreciate both the show and each other by relating to the crushing sense of angst and isolation.
Physically manifesting a representation of what it feels like to life a false life, to be trapped in a body that does not feel your own, ‘I Saw the TV Glow’ brings to the forefront a pertinent rumination on transgender issues. Potentially inaccessible to a wide audience due to stylistic and obscure direction, the film does manage to convey the pain and isolation that choosing not to explore and investigate one’s identity can result in.
Smith’s portrayal of Owen, while sometimes a little monotonous, creates a compelling portrait of a life unlived. Mounting in estrangement and increasingly distant from the ones around him, Owen’s arc culminates in a watershed breakdown, expressing an immeasurable sense of regret of a wasted lifetime. Creating a moment of realization for all those watching, the film unapologetically delivers its core message, not to feel repressed by those around you and to live your life as yourself, whatever form that may take.
Beautifully mesmerizing and well cast, writer director Jane Schoenbrun has created a very personal and powerful think piece, resulting in a film that delivers more than a passive experience and informs on a pertinent issue regarding identity. It can be felt that the story comes from a very private place for Schoenbrun, conveying their emotions in a manner that feels very intimate, stylized to deliver their message in a frank and direct way.
Score: 3/4
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